Was monday, 10.10 am, when after 20 hours of torturing my mother I was finally born... First years of my life I don't remember but I know that right side of my brain developed better than the left one and my father didn't like that so he slapped me every time I took a spoon with my left hand... Fast I learned to be right-handed.
It was sunny afternoon and I went with my mother to buy some food I tripped on the sidewalk and fell... My mother called me by name... Near, there was a group of 16-17 years old teenagers and among them one was called like me and he heard my mother calling his name so he said: "Mamma, by me one ice-cram!"
And she did and that was beginning of my hanging out with these guy... Like I said, they were around 16-17 and I was 5... They gave me a nickname that I was called by all of my life there... Many people didn't know what my name was... This was little neighborhood in the capital of Croatia and it was much like what is called "ghetto"... I did what I had to do to survive in there but that also included first cigarette at the age of 12, first joint 14 and extasy 15... All of my friends were drug dealers and I was near the top of pyramide only because my older friends that were also dealers... Everybody was dealing and enjoying... Our normal day was like 15 joint... We were big group well known in the city... Messing with us was dangerous... To describe that... There was one guy who was late with the payment (was selling for us) so we came in his bar, took him in the car and later we beated him for around 5 hours... We were exosted so imagine how he felt...
For me, this was act that I needed to preform to be left alone.... I am a good actor...
But inside I was just a kid in loved with girl that I was afraid to ask out... Like 10 years I was in loved with her and never made zero... Kid that loves trips with his dad (bus driver) and dreaming to be like him...
When I was around 15 one of the fights ended preaty bad... Guy was in coma for 2 weeks... Police found us and we ended in court... In my country this things are very slow so in the meantime I signed in Police Academy so judge couldn't do anything but free us all... Everybody was very surprised with that call... Criminal in Police force... was funny... Police academy was interesting... Learned how to be better criminal and we smoked weed on regular basis... The greatest joke was me and my best friend, every 2nd sunday, leaving the hood together and he's going jail for minors and me police school... Some time beafore this school I started daiting my first girlfriend... Was so in loved... We were together 3.5 years... She was very important to me... But every now and than I would get drunk and brake up with her, than, begging her to forgive me day after and she would, until the last time... The last time was when I already worked 2 years as jail gourd... When I lost her, I saw how much she meant to me... Was very destroyed... Quited my job and retourned to my old job... selling drugs... But times have changed and the main thing now was heroin, so I had to sell heroin and soon started to use it... Meantime, my father killed him self... Found him after 3 weeks hanging on the tree... Yea, little more destruction... Heroin gave me peace of mind but soon I saw what shit it's doing to me and my friends so I didn't want to sell it any more... So I didn't... And all my friends stopped to be my friends instatly... Decided that the best thing is to go away....

First of all, my english

Ye, my English is bad, but I will try to be understandable... It's a bit bordering me but somehow will manage to say my thoughts... So, new here, don't really understand how it works but I'm a fast learner...
Why blogging?
Maybe I feel the need of people... Yes, last days I am lonely... Will this make me less lonely, not really shore, but I'm willing to try... So, who am I?
I am nice, brutal, sensible, funny, boreing almost 33 y.o. guy that is not really shure what he wants in life... Until now, I can say I had a full life, full of shit... So I will say my story here, my life... I think it's interesting... Often I think about writing a book... But I'm just... I don't really respect myself that much... And this idea of making a blog just came, like, few moments ago and here it is...
If somebody read this, please tell me how to make people see this blog? Do I have to make links around or what? Please help? Also any helpful tips are very welcome... Thanx

Pearl Jam - Black